Weekly Rhythms
The back-to-school season marks an end to an anything goes approach to bedtimes, to structure-free days, and to piano-practicing-avoidance with impunity. It marks the start of waking up early, weeks filled with a complex Tetris of activities, and generally, an additional burden of responsibilities (for both parents and kids, alike).
The rhythm of our weeks is one of those facets of life that is, at best, taken for granted, slipping by unnoticed, or at worst, resented for its manic-ness and inflexibility. Tyrannical as it may be, this rhythm is meaningful because it acts as this kind of scaffolding in which we exist and conduct activities, shuttling our kids to this activity or another, arranging to be home at a certain time (or, begging our partners to be), squeezing in trips to the grocery store to make sure there is food on the table, and toilet paper on the dispenser.
(Slightly off-topic, but if you want to gain an appreciation for the value of a week, or some insight into how our time has been commoditized to the point where we feel like we must squeeze every ounce of value out of it, I’d highly recommend Oliver Burkeman’s book, 4000 Weeks.)
So help your kids remember what your weeks - and really, the rhythm of your life together - were like. What time do they go to bed at? What time do they wake up at? Do they do it willingly, or reluctantly? Are there any weekly rituals - a special food night, or one designated for TV binging or family activities? What about their school schedule? When do they leave and get home? Which activities do they currently have in their repertoire? How do you feel at the end of a week?
And don’t forget to tell them about their evolving role in all this: from being shepherded through the weeks, oblivious to the where, when and why, to becoming little co-pilots, taking on more responsibility and catching things you may have missed (“Don’t I need my bathing suit today?”), to co-creators, expressing their opinions and exercising their new-found agency over how they want to spend their time. And good for them, because that’s one of the most important decisions one can make.
