Slow Transitions

There are things that happen fast: a tooth that just yesterday was wiggling is now property of the tooth fairy; a first step is definitively taken, a smile is smiled, a word is spoken - but there are many more things that happen by degrees, over a long period of time. I guess you could say that this accumulation of small, iterative, practically unnoticeable changes is kind of the essence of growing up.

Sometimes, these changes are happy, like how my daughter gained confidence and learned how to swim, over the course of months of weekly swim sessions together. Other time, these changes are more bittersweet (if no less predictable), like how my son has become increasingly embarrassed by my presence, in the company of his friends, or other people who are not his friends and who he doesn’t know.

Maybe you’re lucky enough to catch one of these transitions while they’re happening and can capture it in real time installments as it unfolds - these kind of serial stories are such a joy to read retrospectively. Or maybe you can look at one of your child’s current behaviors, attitudes, idiosyncrasies, or physicality (or lack of any of these things that used to be there) and think back as to how it slowly evolved to its current form (or, faded away and eventually blinked out of existence).

When you have the absolute privilege and gift of waking up to see your kids every single day (unlike, say, a relative abroad), these changes that happen on a more ‘geologic’ timescale tend to be less obvious. But maybe it just takes some practice, a bit of reflection, and an intention to notice?