A Disproportionate Reaction

The other day, I told my daughter that I’d make lasagna for dinner. It’s one of her favorite foods., so I thought I was doing her a favor. My wife often makes it, mostly winging the recipe, as one does with lasagna. My daughter insisted that my wife make the lasagna instead of me (why, I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever made a lasagna so shitty that she lost faith in my lasagna-making skills), and I got tired of explaining why that wasn’t going to be possible, so I just said “Sure, your mom will make it.”

When my daughter later found out that it was indeed I who made the lasagna, she had a pretty natural, measured reaction to the news: a one-hour screaming and kicking fit on the couch.

It was - to say the least - A Disproportionate Reaction.

Kids have Disproportionate Reactions all the time. Well, mine do, and I don’t think they’re unique in this regard. They’re tired, self-involved, short-sighted little creatures who haven’t yet had the chance to learn how to control their reactions to the world around them, so we should give them the benefit of the doubt. (Though it’s not so easy to excuse the many adults - and I’ll sometimes put myself in this camp - who have similar outbursts).

After everyone’s temperature has cooled a bit - maybe after they’re asleep? - sit down and write them about what happened. What was the triggering event? And what was their reaction? How’d you handle the whole situation? Bonus points for capturing any videos or audio to attach to your message to, you know, really bring the experience alive.

Maybe, in the midst of some fit of emotional distress later in life, your child will be able to look back on this recorded event and how they reacted years ago, and get a dose of perspective for how their current challenge may really be nothing worse than a broken promise for a cookie, or a little white lie about who’s cooking tonight’s lasagna.