It’s completely unfair for me to say this. I’ve  never met the guy, but I get the sense that if I were to, he’d be an utter douchebag.

Santa's gone sketchy

You can’t see the screen of his Palm Centro in this photo, but he’s simultaneoulsy juggling text conversations with two chicks he roofied in a bar last night and then had unconscious sex with. At the same time.

I want to climb up on that there roof, grab Claüs by his straggly pubic-hair beard, and shove him down the chimney. Hopefully the family living in that house, awakened by Claüs’ rummaging through the husband’s liquor cabinet and wife’s undergarments drawer, has proceeded to light the fireplace.

I get the sense, that, if I were to run into Claüs in a bar, after he high-fived me and let me know that “fuck yeah, dude,” he’d proceed to explain to me how drunk he was on account of how many shots of Jaeger he’d had tonight, and also predict how much ass he would get that evening. How much ass would he get? “A sleighload.” And as for the tall brunette over there, he explains to me in great detail how he’d love to take her “reindeer-style.”

Don’t ask. I made the mistake of asking.

If your skin’s not already crawling, then check out check out the YouTube video for more Claüs sketchy action.

I guess advertising is supposed to be all about provoking a strong reaction, but is it still beneficial for the company if that reaction is visceral disgust?

Also, I realize the irony that by writing about ET Claüs, I’m actually helping promote the campaign; it’s not that I have anything against Palm as a company or the Centro  as a device, I just wouldn’t want this dude anywhere near my family, my girlfriend, my girlfriend’s cat or within a mile-radius of any educational institution lower than collegiate. Even then, I hope the freshman girl dorms have pretty strict security. The boy’s dorms, I’m not as worried about, but a keycard on the front door couldn’t hurt. Claüs looks he’d get jolly about children of any age or gender.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 at 1:53 pm and is filed under Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.